There was this massive laser display in London today, for the opening of The Shard.

At first, I was planning to go, but then my previous plans were not happening any more, and you know, one thing led to another… So I decided to stay home.

In a sense I could regret it, as it was supposed to be quite good and eye-catching, but to be completely honest with you, the way I’m feeling right now, I’m glad I’m not still standing out there, facing the elements, watching at some coloured beams being directed at a number of skyscrapers and relevant buildings in London.

I’m writing this while feeling my eyelids as heavy as they can be. I’m writing this, but my body is so tired that I can barely move my fingers to type! But still, I’m typing. The worst part is not the physical tiredness, but the psychological one. I not only feel tired, but I feel tired.

Sometimes you learn stuff in your life that leaves you a bit shocked emotionally. It’s like if a balloon had suddenly exploded, and after the bang you’re left with some ringing in your ears, trying to slow down your heartbeat again. Other times it feels like you just ran head on straight into a wall. This time, however, feels a bit more like that chill that suddenly runs up your back and you don’t know exactly why. It feels like when a sudden small gust of air makes the hair on the back of your neck stand and you look to your side, without actually turning, just glancing, not sure of what you’re expecting to find at your back. You know, rationally, there’s nothing behind you, just a wall, but still you can’t really bring yourself to look. You keep thinking how silly you are, and c’mon, just go ahead and look, but then you decide it’s best to keep looking forward, and hey, maybe let’s go to another room and get a book, or maybe go to bed.

Even though I know there’s nothing lurking behind me, the feeling is still there, and I can’t bring myself to look.

I’m going to bed.