just random stuff, life

Is something happening this week?

It’s lunchtime, and it’s Thursday!

I’m here, sitting at my desk, and eating my lunch, trying to keep my mood up because, if I’m honest with you, I’m not feeling it today. I woke up feeling sluggish, and had to convince myself to get out of bed. I am mighty tired.

I’m not fooling myself, I have a good idea of why I’m feeling this way. This week I have put my body to a bit of testing, and it has resulted in my body crying stop. Of course, I still have energy to keep moving, but it feels like I’m running on dry cogs – it’s slow and noisy and painful.

Since I did Zumba on Monday, and then ran and did weight lifting on Tuesday – when I shouldn’t have, if I may add; I was already tired. Then I had to get some blood tests done, which I did on Wednesday morning, and which added to the tiredness I was feeling. Not only that, but I started feeling sore from training the previous day.

This morning, not only I felt tired and overall drained (I also still have headaches, only they’re not constant at the moment, just like a painful needle here and there), but the spot where the needle from the test was stuck is painful, and has a small bruise. Very painful.

I am busy at work, and have been for a few days now, which I guess isn’t helping either, and the fact that I can’t sleep properly at night isn’t doing me any favours. Speaking of work, while you read this, I’ll be probably having my annual review, so wish me good luck as you read, and cross your fingers, and if you’re my boss, let me tell you you’re the best, and the funniest, and the prettiest! *wink, wink

Tonight I’m going to the boxercise class, and while I can’t wait, I would be happy just going to sleep at 7pm.

To top everything off, I have a date tomorrow. Yes, a date. Yes, on Valentine’s Day. No, I didn’t choose the day, and no, I didn’t realise until well after (actually, I was convinced V-Day was on Wednesday!)

I’m normally not that much into the whole dating thing (or the going to dates thing, to be more specific) and I’m even less into having a first date on Valentine’s Day. The guy is already going over the top for my liking (bar with beautiful views of the City? Seriously?) which, yeah, points for effort, but that means I have to make an effort too, and I don’t want to have to make an effort; not only because I feel tired, but also because it’s not me.

Let me explain.

On any given night, you’ll see me wearing sports clothes. I’m either dancing to Latin rhythms, or punching something, or counting Ks (or eating). At weekends, if I do anything, I’ll go to a pub, or have a walk around. Most often than not, I am at home or surrounding areas, sleeping (or eating), or working on my projects, or getting supplies for my projects (or eating).

Even when I go out, I only make half an effort in how I’m dressed. Lately, I’m always wearing my boxing boots, just because they’re comfy and warm. I haven’t worn proper heels in ages. Even if I do, I can still behave like a clown if I want to, drink ale if I want to, and go home whenever I want to.

The way I see this date is us going to a really nice place, with beautiful views of the City and St. Paul’s Cathedral, which I’m sure is very romantic; and I will have to behave the way it’s expected of me. I’ll have to dress nicely and classy, and wear some nice shoes and/or clothes. A guy who doesn’t know me that much will expect me to be a white-wine kind of girl, because let’s be honest, that’s what’s normally expected of us. Moreover, it’s V-Day, so I have to be excited with sparkly eyes, haven’t I? Maybe I’m finding the love of my life and, you know, we’ll be able to tell our grandchildren how we started dating on this date.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against all the above. If that’s your thing, I’m happy for you, because it’s a much easier way of doing things, everything is planned out for you. In my case, though, it just creates extra (unnecessary) effort for all parties involved.

The guy is trying to woo you with a nice dinner and/or flowers, trying to not forget the date, making an effort to dress appropriately, and pretty much wishing he won’t make a mess of it and get you angry. There are exceptions, of course, and I’m sure many men out there are happily searching for pink-hearted cards and choosing different chocolates; but the majority will think they’ll have to make an effort to keep their partners happy.

For her, or in this case, for me, I don’t like that it’s expected of me to enjoy it. I remember I used to get all excited and hopeful years ago; and I’ve even received presents on this date (even from secret admirers!) but nowadays, I’m busy, or single, or abroad, or whatever; and it’s come a time where it just doesn’t fit, where it slips my mind and I’m there thinking wait, is it this Friday?. To be fair, I have a similar feeling about New Years Eve, and even about Christmas some years (I can’t believe I just wrote that, I love Christmas! It’s the actual day that doesn’t matter to me, I think, not the whole hype around it, I like that). You might be thinking that I’m making assumptions myself, and argue that I’m exaggerating, or bitter. Not at all. After this date was organised, a friend told me some of them were going out drinking and I thought damn, that does sounds like a lot of fun, I much rather go out with friends (wait, what? As opposed to on a date on the – arguably – most romantic day of the year?). I guess there’s just no pleasing women, huh? *smirk

I have said before that my perfect date with a partner would be to stay in, with food being delivered (he would go to open the door for the delivery guy, of course), watching Star Wars and lying in bed. That’s a special date. The restaurants, the trips, the flowers (if you’re into that), the little unexpected gifts; that’s part of the daily life. Much like your birthday or Mother’s Day, V-Day should be about relaxing and not making that effort you need to keep up the rest of the year around. Am I the only one who thinks this way?

I think I’m not against Valentine’s Day, I’m against the effort that seems to go along with it; and having a first date on that day… I already want to take a nap.