This week has been bumpy, to say the least. It feels like the longest week ever!

My friend left the company we work(ed) for. I think it was on Wednesday, when he gave me a call to let me know he was at home and not an employee anymore. I don’t want to go into much detail about it, because it’s not my story to tell, but believe it or not, it had a massive impact in my overall mood for the rest of the week.

We used to have lunch together pretty much everyday, and pretty much for the past… three years, maybe? That’s a hell of a habit there… And suddenly, it was gone. Wednesday was weird. Funnily enough, many people were coming up to me asking me if I was OK, which I found both funny and sad.

On Thursday, I was meant to attend my Pilates session, but I decided to go drinking with my friend instead, see how he was doing and have some fun. We went to our signature place, a Canadian sports bar in London. Ha! A girl and a gay in a sports bar, and none of us is Canadian… Funny! Somehow, we drank a lot, even thought it was meant to be an early night. It was a lot of fun, I ended up chatting up a couple of guys (unsuccessfully!) and then we said good night and left.

Yesterday was tough. I was hungover and moody.

I had drinks with some girls that work in my building, but I wasn’t feeling it that much (that’s what drinking does to you!). I spent the whole morning in a meeting, coming up with creative ideas for promoting one of the teams at work and to promote and showcase a bit more my own team and my role, so people know to come to me for help in certain areas. It was a great morning! We had lunch afterwards and I’m only half ashamed to admit I had a pizza. In my defence, it was thin, vegetarian, and it had a whole in the middle for a salad, so not that bad!

The afternoon was long and it feel like it was dragging itself.

There were other leaving drinks as well (a girl leaving the company I work for), but I had decided not to go. I got a glimpse of some people’s attitudes towards life… One of the conversations I had revolved about the reasons I wasn’t going to our company leaving drinks, and I said I wanted to attend the other leaving drinks because I felt it was nice of the other girls to invite me, and I wanted to meet new people. The response I got was: “Who? The security team?” It’s difficult for me to express in writing the tone of that reply, but it felt like a loaded question, like the security team had nothing to offer in terms of friendliness, interest or anything else. I didn’t like the attitude behind that question.

I was dressed well, with a nice fitting pencil skirt and top, high heels and my leather jacket (I’ve been styling it in every different way I could come up with, and I’ll probably keep wearing it until it falls apart), which garnered a lot of attention. Many people commented on my outfit and even asked me if I was going on a date. To be honest, it made me feel quite attractive, especially having the guys telling me I looked nice.

When I got to the bar to these other drinks, I realised I didn’t know anyone there. I talked to the bar hostesses and they showed me to a table with a bunch of people. I asked if they were at that party for Noon’s leaving drinks (yup, the girl’s name is Noon, how cool is that?) and they said yes, so that was it. It turns out they were a really nice group. I did meet some of the security guys at our building and their friends. When the girls arrived, they looked stunning. I felt a bit like the ugly duckling of the group, but what the heck, it was a great, fun evening, even more so because I decided to stick to Diet Coke all night. I also found out something. These girls, who in my eyes looked amazing, stylish, classy… actually thought I was the cool one. They admired my style, my haircut, and my personality, which left me a bit speechless. Maybe I need to have a bit more confidence in myself.

Did I have fun going to a party where I didn’t know anyone? Totally. I took a small risk and decided to be myself and enjoy the evening. The outcome could have been a different one, I could have ended on my own in a corner, not talking to anyone and feeling out of place. Truth is I could have, but I decided to chat to people and put myself out there. It paid off. I had a fun night.

Do I regret missing out on the office leaving drinks? No. I was even being tempted by the promise of there maybe being some free drinks paid by the company, but I know how those ones go, it’s just about drinking. Anyway, there’s another leaving do next week, and one I’m more interested in attending anyway!

Once again, I did something on my own. I’m starting to get quite good at this. I asked a couple of friends to join me, but they didn’t want to. Their loss, I guess. I’m starting to think maybe I need to broaden my group of friends!

This weekend I’m taking it easy. Saturday morning has been a quiet one, and hopefully this evening I’ll crack on some projects I have parked. I’ve also made a few decisions about my life, because this whole week has made me rethink many things. I guess you’ll be finding out more soon!

How was your week? What was the highlight? Were there any lows?

I might not work on any projects actually, as I have just received a text from Lee, the girl I met last weekend, to go out tonight with her and her boyfriend. See what I mean by broadening the group of friends?