Yesterday I was thinking about writing today’s post in advance. I wanted to talk about the imminent flat move, but I didn’t know what I should really say.

There were two possible outcomes to happen today, either it was all good and confirmed, or it wasn’t. For some reason, I considered writing two versions, like they do in PR and presidential campaigns, just in case, and the hit publish on whichever one happened. It was a bit silly, to be honest, because it was 99% confirmed and today the guy was going to get rid of his estate agents as a last step.

Last night, Su texted me to tell me the guy had received a better offer for one year, and I’m guessing at the full original rent price, and so he thought he should go with that. Now, I don’t blame him, of course he should go with that offer instead, but it sucks. I had already made up my mind to move, and I had let myself get a bit excited, even if I’ve kept telling everyone that it isn’t over till it’s over, and that anything could happen. You know, the whole don’t sell the skin of the bear sort of thing. Now, call me pessimist or whatever you may, but, what now? We didn’t shoot the bear soon enough, and now we have no skin to sell, and the bear has had breakfast on us.

I hadn’t given my agents any notice yet (because I know how these things go), so at least I still have my cold, damp flat to live in, but I’ve now had a taste of freedom, and I really don’t want to stay in my current flat, but now… I don’t know.

The problem is that I had let myself get excited about this before anything was actually signed, and the people who knew about it had already been saying all the positive things you normally say in these cases, and what’s worst, telling me that it was a great thing because I really needed that change. And now that change is not happening, and I really need it… No?

So last night I went to bed very early because when I get down or disappointed, I eat and I didn’t want to ruin what I’ve accomplished so far (today is day 5!) by eating my feelings with the wrong choices, so I made myself a camomile tea, and went to bed to read. I don’t know, maybe the tea wasn’t a good choice either, but give this woman a break!

Now, I have two choices: be down, or move on. It sucks to have to move on, but I can’t afford to be down again because I’m too low on energy at the moment, and not completely healthy, and I might end up sucked into a black pit of despair! Better to move on.

This weekend I’m going to have time to prepare yummy meals, so my plan is to spend either Saturday or Sunday cooking, and then be able to take nice photos while there’s still natural light (so I might have to start cooking at 7am, because winter is coming!).

I guess I have to think positively and if my physical condition doesn’t allow me to be physically active, then I’ll have to do stuff indoors. A good thing is that I have ideas for my November novel (yay!) and I even have a hint of a plot that I need to sketch out before the challenge starts. And there are a couple of other things I want to look into.

I’ll let you know how it went next week, who knows, maybe I’ll end up in bed watching series the whole weekend! Don’t worry, I won’t eat non-compliant food!